Home, Home on the Range...

Okay. So maybe it wasn't a range or home, but it was in a valley - a hot, steamy valley of Aussies. And. It was pretty freakin cool.

Man. Where to freakin' start. Okay. Here we go. This is going to be a long one.

After working 3 hours on Sunday (yeah, wasn't so happy about that), I waited for Melanie to get off work so we could book it to Peats Ridge Music Festival. We caught our bus, went straight to Central Train Station, hopped a train and off we went. It took about an hour to get to Gosford and from there we took a cab to Glenmore Valley Horseriding. This is where the experience began.

We met an awesomely nice cab driver who told us all about his travels as a yout and how he's been a cabbie for 4,000 years. He told us what places to definitely check out and what not to (ah-hem, Ayers Rock...most Australians haven't even visited. It's just a typical tourist spot and is literally, a rock just...chillin).

Then he waited for us while we got our tickets, drove around the horse farm where not one person could really tell us where to go. Seriously? Don't you guys work here? Hmm..I guess the "festivities" had already begun.

The cab driver dropped us off where there was supposedly going to be a bus to take us down to the valley. Which. Never. Came. We sat in the heat, talked to some guy who had been working there since Boxing day and wasn't leaving anytime soon. Could we sense he was a bit...hmm..bitter? Yes.

Then. Randomly. Some lady shouted -- "HEY! Hop in my van, I'm not a hippie serial killer! I swear! Here, have some brownies!" Okay, maybe that's not what she said..but that's sure how it felt. Here's a picture.
BTW. Melanie is sitting on a mattress -- the hippie driver's mattress -- the mattress she'll be sleeping on for the next three nights. Awesome.

After about 3 hours (which should've taken 15 minutes), we get down to the bottom of the mountain. All the while, she was telling me to NEVER hitchhike in OZ. Hm. Ironic.

Now, we finally arrive at the festival.

Our morning commute.

Hula Hoop Workshop

The Chai Temple. Notice everyone taking their shoes off before they go inside. This place smelled of Indian food.

Thinking I would break my neck.

A contortionist show we watched on one of our breaks.

This girl was selling her organic balls. No. I'm not making that up. Plus, she's completely painted from head to toe -- what is it? I don't know.

Ever see Party Monster? This is them. No. Seriously. They were always dressed to the nine.

This is their flyer. They handed out lollies before their..show? I don't know. I left before they started. But I did take a nice nap on a body pillow stuffed with mismatched foam. It was actually delightful. I think anything at that point was nicer than the ground.

What was our next stop after arriving? To find Mr. Chris Taylor immediately. The boss guy. He was nice, his wife was super cute and there were a bunch of guys helping setup. BTW. Nothing had really been setup -- and we opened in the morning. We were a bit scared.

He had one of the guys, Jason:

take us to our campsite, setup camp and then come on back. He showed us the ropes (sort of) and fed us corn on the cob with a stick in it and baked potatoes with cheese and beans on top. Definitely different, but it was free and it was food. We drank some wine, chitchatted then we were all sent off to go to sleep. We had an early 7am call the next day.

That, Ladies and Gents, was the best night of sleep I had while camping. It was quiet, calm and relaxed. Beautiful and serene, if you will. I would never see that sleep again.

Here's a nice snippet of what our toilets were like...compost toilets. Nice.

The next day was interesting. I'm going to be very candid, regardless of who reads this, because I've already been paid, but man-o-man, Chris was....brutal. I can understand why, but talking down to people isn't very business-savvy. And that's something Chris did and did very well. He had no problem telling people they were "young and had a lot to learn." I've dealt with people like before in my life and I know how to handle people like that. Plus, this is his business, he's going to do what he needs to do in order to make money. I just have to abide by his rules in order to get paid. No prob.

Melanie didn't really get that concept and took most of what he said to heart. Thus, creating a bit of conflict between the two. Whatevs. Not my prob, moving on.

It turns out, Chris really had too many people working for him because not only did he have backpackers (7 total), he had also invited his friends to help work the event. We were not that busy. Not busy enough for all of us who were money hungry and willing to work 16 hours -- which I did two days worth. Working from 7:00am until 2:30am (with a few breaks in between) back at 7:30am the next day. Hey. I was there for money. Nothing more.

I could go on and on about the things I saw, experienced, but all-in-all, the people at this festival were a delight. No lie. They were the friendliest bunch of people I had ever met. I had so many conversations with all walks of life, it was refreshing to meet people like that. If I had worked this same festival in America, it would've had a different vibe. People were carefree and easy going -- which I think anyone who went to this festival would've been like -- but there was just something there that would've been missing in America. No matter what, everyone was in high (no pun intended) spirits and just so freakin friendly. It was awesome.

Here are a few bullet pointed things I experienced -- if you want elaboration...feel free to comment and I'll explain.

1. I camped. For four days. And. I. Loved. It. Don't ask questions, just accept it. It was the best camping experience ever.

2. I saw the biggest Huntsman Spider in my life. And he wasn't as intimating as I expected. Probably because I was with people.

3. I worked two 15-1/2 hour days, one 14-1/2 hour day and half a day on my last day. I made $750 cash. Not too shabby. Plus I got to go to a music festival for free and met a shitload of people who made me realize...damn. I like people. And I might be damn good at sales. Oh God.

4. I took the coldest shower of my life. All the while there was a dying, twitching bug at my feet -- I watched him the whole time. Never took my eyes off him.

5. We camped near the Drummer's Circle -- that was a stupid idea. They drummed all night long. New Years Night was by far the worst, no one went to bed. Not one single person. I heard a fight ("DON'T YOU EVER EFFIN DO THAT!" "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!") And I also heard one guy who was screaming at the top of his lungs some drumbeats. It was an experience.

6. In this hippie festival, there was a rapper, BuckCity. He was pretty good (UPDATE: See video below!), was from Jersey and kept saying how this lady looked at him and scuffed at his shoes. No one wore shoes at this fest. No one. Plus, he gave a shout out to the only other black guy at the festival. It was really funny.

This guy was rolling a crystal ball around during the Rapper's song -- it was pretty interesting to watch.

7. They had my favorite. Electronic Dance music at night. I only got to dance once -- just after the new year and it was amazing. I would've been on the dance floor the whole night if I wasn't focused on money.8. I met a guy (probably about 45 years old) who loved me for my accent. His wife is from Philly and he really wanted corn, but didn't have enough money. So he gave me $2 and told me to hold on to it as a deposit for him to come back tomorrow. He took my hands in his hands, asked my name, told me his was Jay and it was lovely to meet me. Chris let me keep that money as a tip. Ha!

9. I developed a crush on one of the guys -- James. He was really cute, french and english (or something) and was just genuinely nice the whole time. Nothing came of it and nothing ever would...just nice to have a crush.

10. There was a guy named Jason who I thought was nice and semi-attractive, but he turned out to be a dick. Plus, he disappeared for awhile...came back sniffling and I jokingly said, "You been doing coke?" And his response was, "Is it that obvious?" Wow. Wasn't expecting that one. Then afterwards he yelled at me for doing my job. He was a dick. He and Chris got along great.

11. The first day it rained, we had very little visitors. The second day it was hot as H and we had several people desire juices and smoothies -- but no matter what we did, Chris got on us for not bringing in more people. BTW. I can make a killer juice/smoothie now.

12. I had a crazy mo-fo hit on me. His name is Jean and his hair is bigger than mine. He came back 3 times and finally awkwardly asked for my number. It was very awkward. Being polite, I gave it to him. Now I'm regretting that decision.

13. There was a hot guy who worked in the Kiosk two over. He kept giving me the "eye" -- later he told me he thought I was hot. Ummm. Ah-hem, how in the....?? I looked like a Mom.

Like a 40 year old Mom with no fashion sense. Plus I was camping. Ew. We met up after the New Year and he immeditately asked me to make-out. What is up with this crazy Aussies? Whatever happened to being asked out on a date...seriously?! Anyway, he wants to hang out. We'll see. At least he's hot. One point for Mariah.

14. Saw a cool electronic indie band called Parades in the Underworld Tent (each tent had a theme). I loved them when I was listening to them, but found them on myspace and am not really a fan. The heat must've gotten to me.

15. New Years was different. They have this huge masquerade parade where everyone dresses up. They had a tent where you could make your own masks...

so Melanie and I were determined to make one the day of the 31st. We didn't get our break until 4:30 and the tent was closing up shop. We were PISSED. But they had some masks for sale, so I bought one. Let's just say. It was a hit :-)

Meow!!

We worked until 11:50pm -- then walked out in front of our "food stall" and all of the sudden it was 10-9-8-7-...and I'm like WHAT??! ALREADY?!? BAM. Then it was New Years. We all hugged, I kissed this 54 year old guy named Alan who was working the stall next to us, his co-worker and that dick, Jason -- right after he had yelled at me. I hugged a guy named Leo. Hugged Melanie and the two other German girls we were working with. One of the German girls, Anya, had tears in her eyes. It was actually very sweet.

This is Anya's twin sister Steffi. Note the banana hanging from her hat.

We went right back to work, served a few people and then the music got to me and 54-year old Alan went with me to dance. He was terrible, but I freakin' loved it and stayed for a good 20 minutes. Jason was nice enough to let me leave. It was awesome. Not a bad New Years -- better than last year -- and that's all that matters.

16. Our last day there SUCKED. I had to be there at 8am -- working the smoothie stall and everyone and their mom wanted a freakin juice. The boss LITERALLY sat on his ass the whole time drinking beer. His wife was sick from a hangover and couldn't do shit but look miserable. It was just me and Anya trying to make 9347612937123 people a damn juice. We pulled through, but there was one point I thought I was going to die. I hadn't drank any water and I was about to keel over and pass out. I was in the process of taking an order but decided to hold up my finger and have a whole glass of water. Much needed. One guy, the only guy at the festival to do this, got pissed because "I've been waiting 30 minutes for a banana smoothie!"

I just looked at him and said, "Sir, we called out for a banana smoothie awhile ago and you weren't here, so we gave it away. We'll make you one right now." He continued to argue with me and I just argued back. It was actually funny. After such a good vibe from everyone at this festival, I was getting shit from some douche bag that ordered and walked away. Did he want us to just let it sit there and get separated? Apparently so. I laughed. I wasn't nice at all. Hey, guess what? I could give a shit if you come back to this food stall -- it's my last day bitches!

I was gone by 2pm. And it was glorious. I had money in hand. I was sitting down. And I was going back to my place at the beach. Need I explain more? Nope.

The funny part about this picture is not my face. But the girl behind me. I hate this pic of me, but she makes the picture. CAUGHT! I had to keep it.

ANYWAY -- that was my Festivus for the Rest of Us! Now I'm off to work. Yup -- working again. Money money money! Ah, it really does make the world go 'round.